I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Randomize
