Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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