she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
