Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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