just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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