South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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