I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
