can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
