Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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