gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
