at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
