she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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