Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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