Don't you send me to vm
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
