Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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