I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
