at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
