So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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