high people should be assigned attendants
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
