you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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