Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
