Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
