we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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