Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you win again, gameday.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
