I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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