Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
