I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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