It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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