I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
