New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
