hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
