Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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