Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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