I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
