Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
