by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
