come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
