Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
