do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Randomize
