Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
soo... how was my night?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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