...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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