Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
