Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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