i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
