doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
