You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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