you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
