I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
