had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
