jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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