whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
