Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
tell me about the fingering
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