Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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